New power dynamic relationship

The common sense methodical approach to...Oh god i didnt want to make this sound like work FFS..

Here's my rub on how things should be laid out.

Right....Bloody hell... Talking points:

• BDSM exists on a spectrum; D/s is about structure, trust, and consent

• Many long‑term couples move toward D/s to:

  • Rekindle intimacy

  • Add polarity and desire

  • Create clarity around needs and roles

• This presentation focuses on emotional safety, communication, and gradual change

Reframe:“This isn’t about becoming different people — it’s about being more intentional versions of who you already are.” Hopefully some of that should ring bells...Not alarm belle either!

Understanding Power Exchange

Definition: Dominance/submission is a consensual agreement right?  Where one partner leads and one partner follows — within clearly defined boundaries of course

Core truths (without abusive power):

• Power is given, not taken

• Submission is an active choice, not weakness

• Dominance carries responsibility, not entitlement ( Yes this)

Important distinction:

• Bedroom-only D/s vs. relationship‑integrated D/s

• Many couples start situational before becoming structured

  
  

Structure Matters! Its the framework you will build on or the foundations you'll be buried under if you dont communicate honestly

Why Structure Matters

• Confusion

• Resentment

• Boundary violations

• Emotional harm

With structure:

• Predictability creates safety

• Clear expectations reduce conflict

• Power exchange becomes grounding, not destabilizing

Introduce the idea of “container”: A D/s relationship needs a container made of:

• Rules

• Rituals

• Check‑ins

• Aftercare

Take the time to learn what matters! Chat,discuss, maybe even write down lists each and hand them over. See what you bring, you might be surprised!

The Foundation: Consent, Communication, Trust

Consent Whoa! Without this its just abuse.

• Ongoing, enthusiastic, informed

• Can be withdrawn or renegotiated

• Different from “I didn’t say no”

Communication

• Explicit conversations before action

• Use check‑ins outside of scenes (if you aint sure... Ask)

• Encourage curiosity, not judgment

Trust

• Built slowly through consistency

• Dominant earns trust through care

• Submissive earns trust through honesty

Suggested exercise:

• Each partner answers:

  • What excites me?

  • What scares me? (gators, therell be no gator play)

  • What do I need to feel safe? (Oh i know this...Someone honest i can trust)

Roles: Dominant and Submissive in Real Life

Dominant role includes:

• Emotional regulation

• Planning and foresight

• Accountability for outcomes

• Prioritizing submissive’s wellbeing

Submissive role includes:

• Self‑awareness

• Honest communication

• Following agreed structure

• Trusting — but not disappearing

Important reminder:

Submission is not giving up agency — it’s choosing how to use it.

6. Transitioning from Vanilla to D/s

Step 1: Language first (Again i cant state enough...Talk people!! if someone has something that they really desire to get out and its important to them, put the fucking phone down and give them your time!

• Talk about desire before behavior

• Introduce fantasy and curiosity

Step 2: Micro‑structure

• Small rituals (check‑ins, tone shifts, intentional leadership)

• Temporary roles, limited timeframes

Step 3: Negotiation

• Define:

  • What power is exchanged

  • When it applies

  • What is off‑limits (Important that one, it's where trust goes to weep and die)

Step 4: Review and adjust

• Regular conversations

• What worked? What didn’t?

7. Common Pitfalls to Avoid

• Using D/s to avoid communication

• Assuming gender roles = D/s roles

• Escalating too fast

• Ignoring emotional aftercare

• Treating consent as a one‑time checkbox

8. Closing: D/s as a Relationship Practice

Final message: D/s isn’t about control — it’s about intentional INTIMACY.

For proper couples, it can become:

• A shared language of desire

• A framework for polarity

• A way to feel chosen, seen, and held

“Go slowly. Stay curious."